Reboot Button
Germaine: Hey, I was shot at like 3 times today. What the hell? This city is getting fucking violently nuts! Foamy: Yeah, sorry about that. Assassins aren't what they used to be. Germaine: ...What? Foamy: Nevermind!!! Germaine: Dammit, I can't believe I suffered so much and sacrificed everything just to stay in this fucking town. I mean, I don't even enjoy it anymore. It's all become superficial bullshit. Trendy stores, trendy cafes, it's all become homagenized and deluded. Art has become a corporation. Poetry has been rendered obsolete. And music is bullshit. I fucking hate all this! I don't even want to live here anymore... Foamy: Ugh, are we doing this again? Germaine: What? Foamy: No, I'm not wasting more time on this! Here! Germaine: What's that? Foamy: It's a reboot button. Germaine: A... reboot button? Foamy: That's right, bitchcakes. Reboot button! 'Germaine': And what does it do? Foamy: It reboots. Germaine: Reboots what? Foamy: Everything, motherfucker! Everything! Germaine: Like...? Foamy: Everything!!! Your entire world will restart from scratch! From scratch!! 'Germaine': So... it's like... a life reset button? Foamy: Yes. But be warned... If you press the button, everything will change. That means the last 10 years of your life will be totally erased. Gone! Gone!! Germaine: So... I would never have become an amazingly fat whore with no future? Foamy: Nope, never would've happened. But remember, rebooting your life will erase all the gained knowledge you have accumulated over the last 10 years. The realizations, the enlightenment, all you will be left with are faint hints of a strange deja vu. Germaine: Um, if you had this device, why didn't you let me know about it? Foamy: Because I wasn't sure if I was gonna kill you or not... Germaine: What? Foamy: Look, lady. You think you're the first owner I've had? Before you, there were 632 owners spanning 400 years. 3 of them deserved reboots. The rest, dead. Sacrificed to perpetuate the greatness that is Foamy. Germaine: What...? Foamy: I give every owner 10 years to go from angst-ridden youth to self-enlightened individuals. If they cannot do it within that period of time, they go into the big pile of dead stupidity! Those who do reach that realization at the end of their time frame get a second chance. A self-reincarnation, if you will. An opportunity to start fresh with a clean slate. Sins dissolved! Mistakes corrected! That is the power of Foamy. Squirrels control the world. Squirrels control time!! Germaine: So... that means I would have never been raped by the pizza dude, never made any pornos, and never emotionally spiraled out of control into a suicidal depression? Foamy: Yes. Weren't you listening? Germaine: Gimme that button, bitch! Foamy: Whoa whoa whoa! Are you sure? Germaine: Fuck yeah! Foamy: No, seriously, are you sure? Cuz I'm gonna get a lot of hate mail if you're not sure. Germaine: I'm sure! I'm not gonna pass up the chance to cleanse up my soul from the sins of my painful past... Foamy: Okay... But keep in mind - I will be keeping an eye on you. If your rebooted life repeats its past mistakes, you will be instantly killed and end up on the big pile of dead stupidity! Germaine: Wait a minute. I still have to deal with you? Foamy: Um... yeah. Germaine: Well, that blows big fat dirty balls! Dirty! Foamy: Hey, if you don't want the reboot, that's fine. I'll just keep working on my cult. Germaine: Yeah, so... what happens to your cult then? I mean, does that reboot? Foamy: Eh, kinda. I mean, rebooting doesn't eliminate the super-awesome Foamy Cult! It just sets it back a bit. Germaine: But I still have to deal with you. Foamy: Yeah. Germaine: Are you still gonna be all pissy and shit? Foamy: Yeah, probably moreso, because I hate putting my cult on hold for one stupid fucking asshole of a person!!! Germaine: Isn't this going to have some sort of weird time continue and ripple effect? Foamy: Nah. There's infinite alternate dimensions to the one we're in now. So... the reboot just fractures the dimension, splitting it into two seperate lines - One where you remain as you are now and one where your life is on a different path. All that will happen is that your consciousness will be aware of the alternate life rather than the current one. You should watch Fringe. Don't you watch Fringe? You should watch Fringe. Germaine: So... what happens to this version of me? Foamy: Eh.. Let's just say it'll make your dark years seem like good times. Germaine: Yeah, whatever. Just give me the fucking button. (REBOOT) Germaine: Damn. This seems so fuckin' familiar... Foamy: '''Mail's here. It's all bills. We need to move while we still have some money. '''Germaine: (sighs) You're right. I'll start packing... 'Germaine's Poem ' For years this soul has scarred itself raw For internal wisdom and a mind in a war Personal triumph to personal lost The selling of morals for the price of their cost Theses arts of mine wrecked from personal flames There's nothing to lose, though nothing to gain For these stories of mine fall on deaf ears Personal Trauma, hopes and the fears A baring of soul is not needed these days For there's more to this world than personal pain So burn it away and cast it aside For we all live short on limited time Cleanse yourself clean before a mental decease The weight of our baggage makes us crawl on our knees So leave this behind for it burdens the soul Nothing is necessary, that's all one need know Feel the removal of desire and shame It's the key to rebirth in a world slightly sane We are what are and our being must breathe So I leave this behind and start something clean ----Comment from George Fredrykson, "whoever wrote this, please contact me, it is beautiful, yours truly: GF."